“Beary Christmas!”
The holidays are going to be a little less merry and a lot more hairy for the Altadena man with a 550 pound bear living under his house.
“You don’t really feel like having people over when there’s a big creature under your house,” explains Ken Johnson — who has had his unwanted roommate for more than three weeks.
Johnson tells The Post he’s cancelled his usual pot luck Christmas party, though he jokes he’s considered asking guests to BYOB — “bring your own bear.”
Johnson says living with the bear has him feeling like the Grinch. “I’m not going to decorate, I’m not in the mood” That means no tree, no lights, no mistletoe. Bah-Hum Bug!
However, Johnson says he will have the stockings hung, one for him, his cat Boo, and the bear.
“I hope the message has got to Santa that he was a bad boy, bring him some coal because if he got sardines he may like that,” said Johnson. “Boo will get some of those temptation treats or a toy mouse because he’s been good.”
Johnson admits he does have one special present for the bear, noise.
“I have three CD players playing the sounds of dogs barking, bears don’t like dogs. They’re different dogs, some are barking some are growling.”
The bear, nicknamed “Unbearable” by Johnson’s friends, arrived at his home Nov. 30 and has been a uninvited guest ever since.
The bear continues to wake up Ken at five in the morning, and has destroyed the hardware below his home. “I wake up, toss and turn and then I think I hear something, is he under my bed? Last night I didn’t get much sleep.”
“It’s messing stuff up under the house. That’s going to cost money,” he noted.
“I’m waiting for the other paw to drop,” exclaimed Johnson.
Officials from the California Department of Fish and Wildlife have worked tirelessly and around the clock to get the bear off the property. Their first attempt was using scent spray which omits the aroma of cherries and caramel. It may smell good to bears, but not to Johnson.
“It smells really bad. It’s not something you would want to put all together. It makes me nauseous, it’s so strong.”
The second plan of attack was to bring a box trap filled with the bear necessities — fried chicken, sardines, shrimp, peanut butter, and apples. The trap was successful, but it didn’t catch the right bear, snagging another neighborhood bruin.
“There was a big click and a bang!” explained Johnson
The healthy male black bear between three to four years old, was later released to a “nearby suitable habitat,” spokesman Cort Klopping said.
Johnson says he doesn’t expect the CDFW will be around to drink eggnog with, “They’ll probably take the holiday off,” he said.
“The biologists get time off for Christmas,” adds Koppling. “If there was an emergency they’d jump into action, so hopefully Ken doesn’t see them.”
Since news of the Altadena bear broke, Johnson’s been bombarded by camera crews, news helicopters, photographers and looky-loos all trying to get a glimpse of the animal.
All the attention seems to have spooked the bear.
The frustrated homeowner does know exactly what he wants for Christmas. “I want the the bear to leave, as cute as he is it’s definitely time to go. It would be a Christmas miracle.”
And he has a special wish for Santa, “I’d like him to come out during Christmas Day while it’s light out, so I can get a good picture and share it with everyone. That would be a Beary Merry Christmas.”
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